Comments on: The 10 Main Reasons Men Don’t Want Sex and Women Have To Fight To Get It

By: Deb S.

Deb S. — Fri, 14 Oct 2011 17:42:58 +0000

I found this interesting, a lot of good things to explore. I’m afraid I disagree with your take on the porn/masturbation as well though. As an article that seems to be aimed at helping couples fix their sexual difficulties, I don’t see the benefit of suggesting only one of the partners to find sexual release alone. Yes, porn/masturbation would be a band-aid for *him*, but the couple would likely retain their lack of mutual sexual fulfillment and whatever the break was that caused the need(??) for porn would remain unresolved. Yes, there are plenty of couples who turn to porn to spice things up, but that’s not the same dynamic. Enjoyed the rest of your article though, thank you.

By: ProfKeith

ProfKeith — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 17:59:43 +0000

In reply to Linda Perry.

I think you need a much broader and more compassionate view, Linda. This is too judgmental. I know many people who enjoy porn, quite guiltlessly. If that is there thing, let them do it.
You need to know a bit more about the sensory modalities of NLP I mentioned: some people are definitely visual in response, whereas others respond to words etc.
I think the only judgement standard is whether it’s fun and happy! It is quite definitely not well-known and accepted that porn makes things worse. It has never destroyed any relationship.
The problems with the marriage are what spoiled it and porn got the blame maybe. But that’s not science.
As to masturbation in general, I’m afraid you lose out to science. It’s healthy, good, universal (many animals do it), God-given. What more do you want?

By: ProfKeith

ProfKeith — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 17:53:43 +0000

I’ve had mine for forty years and no problems. Lots of fun between wives 1 and 2!
Prof.

By: Marten

Marten — Mon, 05 Sep 2011 04:56:28 +0000

Dear Doc, is there any long-time side-effect….from vasectomy?????

By: Linda Perry

Linda Perry — Sun, 04 Sep 2011 03:49:28 +0000

I found your list of “10 main reasons men don’t want sex” interesting and my husband and I were aware of most of them. In fact, it is our experience that many of them are issues for my husband – all of which we have been looking for answers to. However, I disagree with your opinion about masturbation and porn. Masturbation may get a person some brief sexual release but it isn’t worth the guilt feelings that come because of the emptiness felt because the sexual encounter was not with your spouse. Sex is for 2 people, not 1. About porn, if the problems are so great that a couple feels they need to resort to porn then they really need good counseling. Counseling is what we chose and it has helped a lot. It got us to understand the root of the main problem; porn wouldn’t have done that. When we took our wedding vows, we promised to love and honor each other; looking at other people having sex would not promote real love and honor for each other. Please consider the well-known fact that pornography makes things worse and has destroyed many marriages and relationships. You had great suggestions for addressing some of the particular problems, but I would ask you to consider the danger of encouraging porn.