Listen, who cares about brain tumors. I mean, I’m talking about roasted nuts: fried sperm, guys! Ugh!

Forget the thermal effect of cell phones on the brain. This is serious! Sperm samples exposed to just the ordinary laptop (you know, the kind you put on your lap, right next to your sensitive biological equipment), went dead. They downloaded the EMF stuff and just, well, just quit moving.

In a paper November 23rd in Fertility and Sterility, Argentinian scientists report that they obtained semen samples from 29 healthy men, placed a few drops under a laptop connected to the Internet via Wi-Fi and then hit download.

After just 4 hours, 25% of the sperm were deceased (ex-sperm, to continue the Monty Python line of talk).

Actually, I should stop joking because, in fact, 14% of the normals (no laptop field) were dead too. That’s the power of controlled studies. But the laptop still DOUBLED the kill rate.

Moreover, and this is more serious, 9% percent of the Wi-Fi exposed sperm showed DNA fragmentation, three-fold more than the comparison samples. Dead sperm tell no tales. But live sperm with damaged DNA can produce deformed children, never mind cancer.

I suggest laptop computers be re-named “as-far-away-from-lap-as-is-humanly-possible” portable computers.

Mind you, you can ignore the facts if you want and be comforted by silly medical indifference. Like the dismissive tone of Dr. Robert Oates, president of the Society for Male Reproduction and Urology, Dr. Oates told Reuters Health. He thinks it’s all nonsense. Dead and damaged sperm are not important.

He’s had his kids, so presumably he doesn’t care anyway.

“This is not real-life biology, this is a completely artificial setting,” he said about the new study. “It is scientifically interesting, but to me it doesn’t have any human biological relevance.”

That’s what they once said about smoking!

SOURCE: http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0015028211026781