These ways to show love are a code of behaviour and, as such, it cannot be enforced upon anyone. The word ‘burden’ is chosen advisedly though it need not have a negative connotation. Merely it should not be undertaken lightly. Hence it is a burden of responsibility to those who wish to invoke its powers.
However, such a code of agreement and the expression of ways to show love between two lovers can also be a source of reason and joy in their lives together. Indeed, if a relationship doesn’t inspire these values it is hardly worthy to be called such.
20 Ways to Show Love
- Above all, live in the present time, not existing as a blur with past events, past people and places, past dreams and past habits. Love is NOW!
- Develop the climate of communicating freely and encourage the other to do so at all times.
- Listen helpfully when the other is burdened with care, avoiding antagonism or criticism, even if it hurts you. Add comment only if invited (and not much of even then).
- Ensure that both partners share the responsibility of solvency and security. Do not leave it “up to the other”.
- Apportion the work within the home and connected with living together equally. There should be no excessive load falling on one or the other individual.
- Never disparage your partner behind his or her back, especially to gain sympathy or advantage. Honour, praise, and defend your lover against all criticism and calumny by others.
- Be worthy of the other’s trust. Tell him or her the truth and harbour no secrets that you wouldn’t wish known. Faced with doing something you wouldn’t want your partner to know, stop and consider: you are about to betray his or her trust. Seen in those terms, you probably wouldn’t want to do it anyway.
- Be model adults with offspring. As a man, allow them to perceive male courtesy, wisdom and strength. As a woman show them your guile, grace and capacity to love and nurture.
- Discuss all problems in private and never attack hurt or shame the other in public (this means not in front of the children or any other family, as well as strangers).
- Forgive quickly and return the tone to love and calm as soon as possible after a quarrel. Do not harbour grudges or resentment towards your lover EVER. It is a folly which reflects on yourself to consider your loved one in some way flawed.
- Never use sex – or the withholding of sex – for spite, gain or punishment of the other party. Sex is a joy given by Higher Power to inform your lives and not a tool for crude human leverage.
- Share the creation of a safe space a way to show love in which each person, and any offspring, can flourish, express themselves freely and feel cherished.
- Never put material values or family property before people values. A relationship based on material worth is demeaning and lacks substance.
- Be both loving and loveable. Show interest in the other’s world and remember to be less than demanding about your own interests.
- Understand and support the growth of the other’s spiritual and mental domain, as well as his or her physical, property and legal rights.
- Look as beautiful or handsome as you are able, since you are in effect the main ‘scenery’ of your partner.
- Waste no time and as often as possible, in varied and non-mechanical ways, demonstrate your love and commitment.
- When looking for ways to show love seek to give your lover values that they could not have otherwise attained without you.
- Be competent, tender, loving and sincere in that acme of human relations – the orgasm. Whoever does or doesn’t ‘score’, both parties respond to affirmations of love, pride, rejoicing and pleasure at this time. NEVER NEVER utter unkind or destructive words at these moments.
- Be sure you are willing to defend and protect the other, being willing if necessary to put yourself in danger. God forbid it ever happens, but if you failed at this when called upon, you would be unworthy of romantic sexual love at its deepest and most convincing. This final point is important. Biology still applies somewhat to our society. Though we live sheltered lives, occasionally the issue of life and death does surface to challenge people and is one of the ultimate ways to show love.